December 2, 1978
I haven't updated the blog for a few days with all the cooking for Thanksgiving and kids in and out. Also because December 2nd was our 30th wedding anniversary. We took the travel trailer and went to a nearby state park to have a quiet celebration as we took our big celebration trip this summer to Israel. I can't believe how quickly these years have went by! We have had some great times and some rough ones and have a wonderful, loving (not perfect, which is a good thing, because he wouldn't have chosen me) husband, three great girls, one son-in-law, and three grandchildren. The pictures above are from our wedding 30 years ago and the black and white one is from this year. We have changed just a bit, he lost the mustache, sideburns and some hair, I gained more than a few pounds, but we still love each other very much.
Do I have any advice on marriage after 30 years? I'm still learning and here are a few of the things I have to pass on so far: Get your priorities straight - Your relationship with the L-rd first, your relationship with your spouse next, then your kids and then all else/everyone next. That includes your career, hobbies, extended family etc. Your marriage is a binding, life-long, non-breakable covenant, no divorce (barring true abuse)!
Marriage takes work, time and understanding. Becoming one does not mean that you no longer have individual personalities. Your own growing personal relationship with the L-rd will guide you in your relationship with your spouse and children making the joyous times more precious and the troubling times a time of growth and faith. Your spouse cannot read your mind! Communication is vitally important and know the difference between feelings and fact. Sometimes we women can "feel" something that doesn't have any bearing upon reality! Men don't relate well with emotions. They like to "know the facts" and to "fix a problem". Women relate "how they are feeling" in relation to a problem. These two differing ways of looking at a problem can cause a lot more problems than the original if you do not understand how men and women see the world. Pray, pray and pray some more, with your spouse and children. Build up your spouse, honestly and your children, do not tear down! Your home is your "safe haven" especially given to you by the L-rd, keep it that way. That safe haven will be a refuge when trying times come upon you, we all need one, with no criticizing, judgements and the like.
Leave your baggage at the door! Do not expect your spouse or your children to "fix" your childhood problems (real or imagined), past abuse, lack of self esteem, losses, past relationships or any other things you may bring to the relationship. Take them to G-d and let Him heal them. and to use them to His Glory. Last but not the least is that your growing 100% relationship with the L-rd will ensure that you will put in 100% into your relationship with your spouse. These lessons were learned the hard way and we are still learning! Love insn't just an emotion it is also a choice, a committment.
Below are two pictures from our trip to Israel. The first is a look towards the old city from the garden overlook and the other is us after we were blessed to get to pray at the wall! We put prayers for all of our friends and family in the cracks of the Western Wall. The trip was too wonderful to describe! There are over 900 pictures and 6 hours of video that we will show to anyone who wants to see! We were blessed to have walked where my L-rd has walked. To expierence the Land and it's people! On land that is ancient, modern, eternal and alive with His Presence. G-d has an eternal plan for His Land and people, and man's will and plan for it, will not prevail. I hope you had a great Thanksgiving with your friends and family, until the next post,